Former English captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet confront the full ramifications of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and lifted several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast two weeks after learning he has the condition.
"There's something about confronting what lies ahead and being reluctant to fully comprehend that at the present time," he said.
"It's not that I am unaware of where it's heading. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to confront the future for now."
Moody, speaking with his wife Annie, explains conversely he feels "at ease" as he concentrates on his immediate wellbeing, his family and getting ready for when the disease worsens.
"Perhaps that's shock or maybe I handle situations in another way, and once I have the details, it's simpler," he continued.
Initial Symptoms
Moody learned he had MND after detecting some weakness in his upper arm while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the condition, a series of scans indicated neural pathways in his neurological system had been damaged by MND.
"You're given this diagnosis of MND and we're rightly very emotional about it, but it's so strange because I feel like everything is fine," he remarked.
"I don't sense ill. I don't sense sick
"My indications are quite slight. I have a bit of muscle deterioration in the hand area and the shoulder.
"I'm still able to accomplishing whatever I want. And with luck that will carry on for as long as is possible."
Disease Development
MND can develop rapidly.
As per the charity MND Association, the condition takes the lives of a 33% of people within a year and more than half within 730 days of diagnosis, as ingestion and breathing become more difficult.
Therapy can only delay decline.
"It's not me that I am upset for," stated an affected Moody.
"There's sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an only child - and the consequences that has for her."
Household Effect
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overcome with emotion when he discussed telling his sons - teenage Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was rather upsetting," Moody remarked.
"We sat on the sofa in tears, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog bounded over and started cleaning the tears off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody said the emphasis was staying in the present.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be so intensely concentrated on just welcoming and savoring each moment now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very fortunate that the sole decision I made when I left playing was to devote as much period with the kids as feasible. We don't get those times back."
Athlete Association
Elite athletes are excessively impacted by MND, with studies proposing the prevalence of the condition is up to sixfold higher than in the general population.
It is thought that by reducing the oxygen accessible and causing harm to neural pathways, consistent, vigorous exercise can activate the disease in those inherently predisposed.
Athletic Playing Days
Moody, who won 71 England appearances and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in acknowledgment of his courageous, unwavering method to the game.
He competed through a stress fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once sparked a training-ground scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he discarded a training equipment and commenced participating in physical contacts.
After entering as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the rear of the set piece in the decisive moment of play, establishing a platform for half-back Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the game-deciding field goal.
Support System
Moody has previously told Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a few other ex- colleagues about his condition, but the rest will be finding out his news with the broader public.
"There will be a period when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the moment, just having that sort of love and recognition that people are there is the crucial thing," he said.
"Rugby is such a wonderful group.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even if it ended now, I've appreciated all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your enthusiasm your career, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"Having accomplished it for so long a duration with the teams that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will wish to help in any way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
